Lately, I have felt the pressure and pulling of the energies that have been impacting the planet. I have heard here and there that this month particularly will be full of changes and transformative energy will abound.

Inwardly, I have been processing alot of "emotional baggage", the results of a few abusive relationships and have been struggling with my emotions. Anger is quick to flare up, over really insignificant triggers (usually my kids getting into something they know they shouldn't). Also, fear filling my belly up in moments that used to be comfortable and safe-feeling. Feeling overwhelmed by things that used to be relatively easy for me to deal with...and wrestling with old thought patterns I had thought were dead and gone.

It is interesting to me that all this talk of transformative energy and all these strange unexpected responses are lining up together. As I walk the journey of healing within, the outer manifestations of my wounds get more and more apparent. It is challenging in the society that we live in to accomplish the deep inner healing that many of us crave. I believe we are all broken or injured on a deep level, and somewhere in the story of our line there is tragedy and sorrow.  As we move forward into a time of conscious awakening and begin to process these things (thoughts, feelings, hurts etc.) that we have held deep inside for so long (in some cases, across generations) we struggle with the pain and the feelings that arise.

I have been working with Berkana alot to soothe and nurture my heart as I go through this process. The energy of Berkana feels really comforting to me right now, like a hug from my grandmothers (who have both journeyed on) I never knew my grandmothers as well as I would have liked to, but I imagine what it would be like to be held by a dear grandmother figure.

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Comment by Tyriel [Rune Secrets Admin] on January 17, 2014 at 12:20pm

I am beginning to suspect that awakening may be accompanied by anger. And that anger will be channelled into tearing down the edifices which have risen to oppress us. 

We often judge certain emotions, like anger, as negative, and block their expression. The best course of action is to consciously use our anger as the fuel it is intended to be. It kindles a fire of courage within us, and awakens wrath and scorn where it is sometimes deserved.

The doctrine of 'peace at all costs' among our populations, and the misinterpreted ideology of non-doing that the West has borrowed from the East may not work for our Western psyche. Our consciousness may have to deal with the fact that we fear our anger's expression, for the injustices to be found in our Western society have grown to be the Giants we cannot ignore.

As within, so without. We engineer the crises on the exterior that we need in order to shape our interior. A secret of Hagalaz.

Comment by Sigha on January 18, 2014 at 5:39am

Anger is suppressed sorrow, do not fight it just cry. i would be rich by now for every tear i brought into existence ;) i always make sure i am the last one laughing, no matter what negative force was/is upon me i always master them in the end, which is cool and kind of lonely at the same time, but peaceful

<3 you

Comment by Tyriel [Rune Secrets Admin] on January 18, 2014 at 5:58am

I'm not certain I can agree. Anger is anger. Sorrow is sorrow. Why confuse the feelings rather than distinguish them and feel them for what they are? If I'm feeling angry and I'm telling myself the story that it's actually sorrow, how am I to honestly resolve that anger? Instead, I am telling myself this complication... this is what we are doing all the time, and has been called repression, and denial, and projection. We shape our feelings according to what we need to call them in order to cope.

Is there anything worth getting angry about? Perhaps there is. Is there such a thing as anger, as rage, as hate? Certainly. And to deny their existence, to call them something else is to turn a blind eye.

If you cry when you are angry, perhaps that is your reaction to anger, a way your body has found to cope with the stress. I don't know, everyone seems to have their own adaptation. It isn't the same for me though. I get angry at injustice, more than anything. And there is sorrow there too, when injustice is happening in the world. When it happens to me specifically though, you better believe I get angry and not 'sad' about that.

We do have a lot of options on how we cope with emotions. Many emotions cause pain or set us up for pain. Some people shut down emotionally because they can't stand the roller-coaster, and others seek the thrills out and revel in their moods.

I warn against denial of anger. You just end up putting it into a dark vault, to unleash at a later day, disproportionately toward a person, situation or yourself. And then you have no practice dealing with what anger is, just when you need it most, and face all your anger at once.

I've gone through parts of my life thinking I was elevated above being angry. I discovered most humbly that all that meant was that I had strategically used apathy, and that I had avoided experiences that truly pissed me off. Eventually, that situation finds you. Your stored, repressed anger draws it to you, working alongside you within your Shadow. So beware of thinking yourself at peace.

Conflict is in our nature! Studying the murkstaves has truly revealed this clearly to me. I hope to show that we need not fear it, rather, it is what completes us.

Comment by Sigha on January 18, 2014 at 6:08am

anger is caused by unsatisfied sense of wellbeing usually triggered within the unconscious mind rooted within trauma...your own or passed on from ancestors. 

Comment by Esther Ravensdottir on January 18, 2014 at 5:53pm

I have felt my anger's roots. I am most immediately angry at myself, for responding in ways I don't like (being angry at kids etc.). The next level of my anger is at my parents for their lack of understanding as I walk my journey. They are so blind in their belief in their way, and I am so angry they can't understand or accept me for who I am. In their eyes, I will be a heathen, witch, abomination, doesn't end. My anger about that runs deep. I am sad and hurt by their words, I want to force myself on them, and know that doesn't work I sit in the feeling of anger. I am also angry at the generations before them, those who perpetrated the wounds that my parents suffered from, and their parents before them. Where did it all begin??

I struggle with knowing where or how to express or focus this anger in a healthy way that does not damage me, or those I love. It is a great idea, to use it to fuel something, but what? How can I use it for good, when it is so messy and ugly? This is what I sit with. This is the wyrd I carry.


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