Lately, I have felt the pressure and pulling of the energies that have been impacting the planet. I have heard here and there that this month particularly will be full of changes and transformative energy will abound.
Inwardly, I have been processing alot of "emotional baggage", the results of a few abusive relationships and have been struggling with my emotions. Anger is quick to flare up, over really insignificant triggers (usually my kids getting into something they know they shouldn't). Also, fear filling my belly up in moments that used to be comfortable and safe-feeling. Feeling overwhelmed by things that used to be relatively easy for me to deal with...and wrestling with old thought patterns I had thought were dead and gone.
It is interesting to me that all this talk of transformative energy and all these strange unexpected responses are lining up together. As I walk the journey of healing within, the outer manifestations of my wounds get more and more apparent. It is challenging in the society that we live in to accomplish the deep inner healing that many of us crave. I believe we are all broken or injured on a deep level, and somewhere in the story of our line there is tragedy and sorrow. As we move forward into a time of conscious awakening and begin to process these things (thoughts, feelings, hurts etc.) that we have held deep inside for so long (in some cases, across generations) we struggle with the pain and the feelings that arise.
I have been working with Berkana alot to soothe and nurture my heart as I go through this process. The energy of Berkana feels really comforting to me right now, like a hug from my grandmothers (who have both journeyed on) I never knew my grandmothers as well as I would have liked to, but I imagine what it would be like to be held by a dear grandmother figure.