Light travels at a certain speed, and thus the night sky we see is not as it truly is. The ancient stars are more ancient than we can suppose, and the deeper we look, the farther we are from what is Now.
So it has been with my words, as I express thoughts I had, in words you all could understand. I strove for clarity, above all, to establish the foundations of the rune meanings as I understood them, but only as far as I could express clearly.
Whether or not my work had value to you, it had less value for my struggles to make it clear, to aim it at an audience I thought needed such structure and clarity.
But my experiences have been anything but structured and clear. The runes now come to me as murk. What has not been expressed by the Rune Masters is beginning to form upon the pages of my leather-bound manuscript.
Tonight my Valkyrie, my muse, or some unnamed god, took my hand and my ink spilled with blood and fire upon the page. I could barely keep up with her scorn, for she had had enough of my silence, my excuses not to write, not to teach and thus not to learn. For to teach is necessary. The words must leave me, they have to shed their light to other stars -- reach others such as you.
But I do not know with what message I now come. I am close. Close to new revelation and close to new understanding and mastery. It will take all my courage. It will take abandon.
I know many of you will welcome my return, will breathe a sigh of relief. Some of you (I think of Loclynn) have been with me since I revealed my scribbled notes on RuneSecrets.com. Loclynn felt, though, that I was holding back -- that I had revealed but a fraction, for whatever reason.
Fear can be a very subtle enemy. I searched a long time for a Rune Master who would teach of the murkstaves, of the negative, of the darkness. Of the truth. To be honest I found none that I could trust.
I was never invited by a person, to the life of the runes. I was not initiated by a leader or cult. I was initiated by the gods, or whatever you dare to call them. They laid their hand upon me and I was forever changed: my world crumbled, my mind fell apart.
I rebuilt myself and my life from the wreckage. I had to turn my back on the visions I was granted, because each time they would destroy everything. It was labelled mania and psychosis, but I knew it to be the shamanic path, which is lost in our time. The shaman, unlike the priest, is not initiated by mortals.
Who would not be afraid of the power that could take one world out from underneath you and show you another, complete, that made more sense to you than ever before -- yet that no one else seemed to see? Who would not be devastated when they had to turn their back on it to deal with mundane life. To become 'economically viable'.
But I learned lessons that were hard, and continue to learn. I have created space here, and watched and listened to you, the community, six years this January. I received emails with questions I dared not answer, but I felt you, you know. I knew the places you were in. I too have walked in strange places.
Now I am strong, I am healthy. I have more courage. My mind wanders where I had not dared to return. I had asked to be shown the mystery, and the gods had heard me. The mercy I was shown was that whenever I fell, someone or something was there to catch me before my skull broke open -- but I was not spared much else.
For those who think all teachers arrogant, you are dismissed. Go elsewhere, this Community will no longer be comfortable for you. Tyriel has returned, and I have been commanded to use my Voice once again. I fear now keeping silent more than I fear anything else.
I would encourage you to be excited for this coming time, because if you have found my work and my websites useful, you will be rewarded by seeing them become more so. You are here now with me, you will see the formation of my second book, a much greater work.
I also intend to let you in, to open up. To answer questions, to concentrate more on the problem of divination, to create structure. I also plan to make available (for an affordable cost, make no mistake, my time is valuable) a limited number of 1-hour sessions, that is voice/video calls where we can discuss things in the old ways, one-on-one. The oral tradition is powerful, and no matter how good my writing gets, my spoken word shall always be my greater strength.
But I also advise you to prepare. I speak now to the mortal in you who hides your greater, higher self. I am not inclined to be false for the sake of popularity. I, Tyriel, who have called out demons to their face with righteous fury... I still burn with fire. I am first a warrior, then a teacher. I sought peace and healing when I was wounded, not because I was a healer by nature. And I abandoned many opportunities to teach in favour of learning and experiencing firsthand the world.
I know that just as Tyriel is within me, there is someone, something else, within you.
You shall come to know me as I have come to know you, we shall discover ourselves, and I will help you how I can, as I have always meant to. My Way is not everyone's: there are thousands of ways. But somehow, we have come to the Elder Futhark, and this space, through a kind of communication, the internet, that has only begun to exist during my lifetime. The Ancients did not have this opportunity... I wonder what they might have done differently, if they had?
The runes are a riddle. They mean mystery and secrets. Their lore is hidden. They point to the unknown. They show us the courage we can bring with us, into the darkness.